


A Moment's Thought

by Luke



Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 09:18:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2646587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luke/pseuds/Luke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik had to lie low 'cause he was considered to have killed the president .He escaped to England and found it hard to resist the idea of  going to see Charles.And when he did,he put himself in a dilemma.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Moment's Thought

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lelun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lelun/gifts).



Chapter 1  
He woke up with a start.Sitting up in his bed,Eric panted heavily.  
He was on the beach,again.Charles was in his arms,struggling to catch his breath,hissing.  
Eric looked at his distorted face,heart heavy with bitter regret and agony.Suddenly the hand on his friend's chest felt something wet,and he looked down.  
Blood.  
In Charles's chest there was a hole,from which the scarlet was coming out,endlessly,reddening his hand,making the air smell like copper.  
"No,no."was all he could manage to murmur.The paranoid,cold,determined mutant leader felt something in his brain breaking into pieces,causing immense pain.  
"You know how it feels to have a coin pierce through your brain?"The man in his arms looked up at him,eerie smile on his face. Fear and agony rose furiously in his chest like a sparkle in the wild grassland fostered by a draft. He wanted to shout,to roar,only to find himself unable to make a sound,like someone gripped him by the throat.  
He is choking with the torturous pain in his chest and brain. Then he woke up,late in the night,sweated all over,his head aching furiously. The images haunted him even in the daytime.At night they became constant nightmares that kept him awake most of the night. All this because of one idea,one hypothesis that made him fear after the event. What if the bullet didn't JUST hit Charles's tailbone?What if he shot him right through the heart ,the brain? He couldn't bear to think about all those possibilities.It made him panic.  
It had been a few years since they parted,and a lot could happen in a few years.He heard rumors about how Xavier Institute was set up,and then closed down.  
The mutant president was assassinated.He tried to save him by bending that bullet aimed at him but failed.As a result he was considered the one who killed Kennedy now and his reputation as a radical mutant rights activist worsened the situation.He’s on the wanted list and had to lie low for a while.  
On realizing this he flew to England in disguise and settled down in a hotel near the Xavier mansion.Bad decision.Bald and completely out of reason.The only benefit is that in this short distance he could feel and control the metals in the Xavier mansion.And he’s not even sure that could count as a benefit at all.  
Yet there’s no way he could resist the idea of being close to his old friend again.He longed to feel Charles,through anything metallic he touched.Sometimes he’s even grateful for this misunderstanding,in that it offered him an excuse to be here again.He felt Charles through the equipment Hank’s probably using to heal his paralyzed legs,he felt him through the knobs on the head of his bed that Charles’s probably clutching to endure the pain those treatments brought,he felt him,through the alarm clock that he probably tossed to the ground when the anger and depression could no longer be held in.He felt his pain,and it added to his.  
Chapter 2  
One night, he finally decided to do something about it.  
He sneaked into the mansion at midnight,when all is in a sound sleep.He opened the door easily and noiselessly by controlling the delicate lock to unlock itself.And with ease found and entered Charles’s room on the second floor.  
After the school shut down the house hadn’t been kept clean and organized.However careful and willing Hank was,as a man and a scientist and currently some kind of a doctor and babysitter he couldn’t make this delicate old building appear decent and noble as before.  
With only two depressed men living on different floors and cloth-covered unused furniture scattering casually around,the house was ghost-haunted-like quiet in the dark,with pale moonlight on the dirt-covered floor.In this house they worked and lived together,though having different thoughts on mind.They trained and be trained ,talked and teased,played chess and enjoyed their leisure time here.It’s the closest thing he could call a home after Nazi and Shaw took everything from him.  
He closed the door behind him and walked as soundlessly as he could towards the bed.There slept his friend,one of the very few people that he loved but didn’t cherish.He could see his face in the silver moonlight projecting from the half-open window.  
His hair was no longer as perfectly-trimmed as before.It’s now dry and messy.There was stubble on his once clean-shaven and smooth face.His skin was even paler than before,carrying a sicken white color.His eyebrows were twisted to a tight knot,indicating a bad sleep.  
Erik stood there silently and bent over to look at the sleeper’s face closely.Regret,guilt and some kind of relief took over his heart,making him unable to take his eyes off the man in sleep.  
Suddenly Charles began to murmur something.He was shaking his head in sleep,as if struggling to wake up from a bad dream.  
“Raven.”Eric made out the name he was calling in a soft and muffled voice.  
The voice contained various feelings,anxiety,regret,grief.He could imagine how painful it was to have the most-beloved person taken away from you,and he knew how Charles felt responsible for this sister and friend who had been under his care since a very young age.He promised to give her many things,but failed.He let her go that day on the beach ‘cause there’s nothing he could do ,nothing he could give to make her change her mind.Still,it’s painful and was crushing his spirit every moment,asleep or awake.  
He was sorry,undoubtedly,to take her away,to abandon him in such a devastating way .But he would do it again if he must.He had his faith,and Charles had a completely different one.They led totally different paths and hence could not be together.They might turn enemies someday,even though they were fighting for the same thing,even though he was most reluctant to the possibility.He couldn’t prevent it and he couldn’t give up.It’s not only their life and happiness that they must take into consideration.There were thousands of hundreds mutant siblings who needed to be united and protected.Charles’s mild and yielding methods just wouldn’t do.And he couldn’t risk to make his own people suffer again.He just wouldn’t have it.And so they must part,and turn to enemies and meet in the battlefield someday.When it came,he would be sad and he would grieve no matter who won.But he wouldn’t back off.It’s not for his own sake,it never was.  
All this passed through his mind and left a scar,which he reminded himself that he could put up with like he always did.Dealing with losses and grief,that’s pretty much all he had been doing all these years.  
“Erik.”He was cut off from his thoughts when his name appeared.Charles had calmed down a little.His voice was even lower,and it contained too many feelings that Erik couldn’t take them all in in a moment.  
“Erik.No.”And he kept murmuring the name.His voice so gentle ,it melt on his tongue.  
Erik started to think about when they first met,under the water.  
He was so overtaken by anger and hatre.He gathered all the power he had and flooded it to the submarine to stop it forwarding.The man who brought him endless pain was right there it,and he just couldn’t let him go .It took so long to trace him down,and god knows how long it would take to find him again.He pushed himself to the limits,ignoring the air that was going short,and the pressure that was making his lungs ache.And suddenly someone gripped him from behind,a voice appeared in his head,pleading him to stop,telling him to calm down before get himself drowned.  
The voice was calm,mild and gentle.But there’s more in it,something incredible in that it really calmed his mind a bit,which almost never happened in all those years.  
Within minutes he realized this man was going to be someone important to him.They shared the same level of intelligence,and they would have the same wish and goal. When he heard him saying”You’re not alone.”he felt something different,something that made him wanna know and trust the man before his water-blurred eyes.Alien feelings to him,but he took it well.They were so different in so many ways,but he couldn’t help being attracted.  
And he was proved right in the days and months follow.Charles understood him and trusted him and it’s not just because the man had been in his head.They were like two sides of the same coin.For all his life he never exposed himself or shared feelings and thoughts with someone like this,be close and intimate with someone like he did with Charles Xavier,the exquisite mutant who was always positive and kind toward the rest of the world,so unlike him.  
Charles’s eyes were rolling anxiously under his eyelids.  
He couldn’t help but lean down and kiss him gently on the forehead,trying to calm him down like he did for him,though he couldn’t send a voice in Charles’s head so he could know he’s here for him,even for just a brief moment.  
Sometimes he would indulge himself in imaging taking Charles away,confining him,keeping him to himself only.No matter what it would cost both of them they could be happy in some way.The relationship would be of a twisted kind,but still,they could be together.  
He turned to leave,this was enough for tonight,he couldn’t stay any longer to let himself drown in mixed feeling.It just wouldn’t help,to either of them.  
“Erik.”But before he took a step he heard Charles calling his name,in a clear and solid tone that made his mind stop for a while.But quickly he turned around to face the man whose house he had sneaked into deep in the night just to see his face one last time before they grew further to each other.  
Charles had sit up in his bed,bracing himself against the bedside.And was looking at him with his blue eyes filled with anger.His fists were clenched.His lips were pressed into a hard line.  
“Good to see you too,old friend.”Erik said in a low voice,smiling.  
After suffering for such a long time Charles was no longer the self-contained man who would silently wait till Eric and Raven were gone to let out his call of pain.  
“Get out of my house and mind not waking Hank up in case he might kill you.”Charles gritted through chattering teeth.  
“I doubt he would.”Erik seemed to have relaxed himself and sat on the bed with ease.On noticing the still legs under the quilt his expression tensed a bit.But he brushed the nervousness off his face rather quickly.”He is too kind to kill,not to mention someone from the past.”  
“But he should.”Charles was trying hard to compose himself.  
“For whom,you or Raven?”  
Charles’s could burn a hole in him with the hatred in his eyes,but Erik didn’t stop looking into his eyes. Charles closed his eyes hard for a while and then reopened them.Now most of the rage was gone .He turned his head to look out of the half-open window and asked in a low,gentle voice,”How’s Raven?”  
“She is doing well.Strong as she always is.”Erik kept his eyes on him,didn’t want to waste a second,or miss any detail .  
His face,his expression,his cold words and pressed anger,he didn’t want to miss a thing.  
It was when Charles had woken up ,come alive from sleep that Erik found himself missing him so much.All the voices in his head,his argument with himself quieted naturally.Now all his attention was on the man beside him,who was severely hurt by him and considered himself abandoned,betrayed,yet was not all anger facing him.  
He was so close .He could touch his haggard yet still attractive face just reaching out his hand.Touch the red-brimmed shining pool of blue eyes.Flatten the wrinkles on his forehead.Feel the thin pressed-hard red lips under his fingers.A new kind of emotion overtook him.God he missed him so much.In his entire life he had never felt such strong desire towards someone.All of a sudden the chaos in his head silenced .There’s but an image of Charles in his mind,and it brought such satisfaction that his smile developed to a grin.  
“Why are you here?”Charles shook his head at him,asking impatiently.  
With a bitter and sarcastic smile,he added,”what’s left here that you can take away from me now?”You see how I am now.Defeated,no self-esteem left,lying on the bed day after day relying on a friend who was also so hurt by you.No hope,no passion,no ability.What do you want,from some one so destroyed ,so poor and pathetic like me?  
“I haven’t brought the helmet ,you can find for yourself.”  
“I’m never,getting inside that head again.”  
There was a brief moment of silence.Both of them could feel the tension in the air,like when strings were pulled to the extremity.  
“How are your legs?”Erik asked,didn’t know what kind of answer he expected.  
“How,are,my,legs?”Charles was literally laughing with anger,”Funny you should ask.” He stopped,biting his lips hard,unable to utter anything.Then he waved one hand at the other man tiredly,”Just go ,Erik Lehnsherr and don’t ever ,ever let me see you again.”  
Erik frowned,but before he could say anything there were voices of heavy footsteps.The next moment Hank had rushed to the doorstep,with anxiety on his face,which soon turned into surprise.The hand clutching the wooden door tightened a bit,but he composed himself well.  
“Everything okay,Professor?”  
“It’s all...fine, Hank.”Charles nodded in gratitude at him,then again he unleashed the hateful looks on Erik,”Go.”  
After looking at Charles for the last time Erik got up on his feet and walked towards the door,behind him the professor closed his eyes ,a mix of sadness and regret shown on his face.  
When passing Hank Erik smiled at him and raised his eyebrows.Hank stared at him defensively.  
After Erik walked out Hank moved himself to Charles’s bedside,finding his expression rather concerning.  
He asked worriedly with hesitation.”Professor...Did you tell him..”  
“No.”  
“Unnecessary isn’t it?He wouldn’t have any pity for me ,or give back what he had taken just because a pathetic fool he used to know couldn’t read people mind anymore.”  
“Charles..”  
“Just...go,I’m SORRY.I just want to be alone for a while.”  
A dark shadow passed the ajar door ,too quickly to be seen.  
Chapter 3  
The cause of mutant race was so great that he would spend his entire life without Charles,the only one residing in his cold,cruel heart for it.  
It still is.  
But when Raven visited his hotel room three days after that meaningful night ,he refused her request of going to Russia with her. He should have said yes,he could see no reason why he shouldn’t go somewhere the FBI would have bigger trouble finding him ,somewhere he could continue his work finding more mutants.But something blocked his throat,his mind.Something was preventing him from leaving.Something that had heart-breaking sad blue eyes.  
Charles.  
Everything is ready .  
But the words he eavesdropped that night,the sapless haggard face he saw .He found it so hard not to get involved,to ignore the guilt and desire deep inside.  
“Erik?”Raven sighed.  
She left the room disappointed.As she stood before the elevator she looked at the paper Azazel had given her earlier.  
“Seasons Hotel .Chuck Magnus . Room 301”  
Late that night,when Erik once again entered Charles’s room he wasn’t surprised at the sight of Charles sitting upright in the old chair ,with vacant look on his face as if his mind wandered somewhere far.Flame from the fireplace outlined his thin and haggard figure beautifully.He aged not just a bit,more mature,solemn.There’s an air of external sorrow around the once forthy person.  
He walked slowly to take the seat opposite Charles,where he had sat for too many times to count ,playing chess and talking with his beloved friend.  
“You gave up your ability to walk.”It was more of a statement than a question.  
“I give up my ability so I can sleep.”The words were shattered .Once again he shook his head with eyes closed,tying to compose himself.  
”Never mind.What do you know.”  
But he did.He remembered how the metal in Charles’s room shattered and broke violently in so many late hours.He knew how sleepless Charles had been just like him.He out of guilt and regret and certain fear,his lover out of desperation and wrath.He could imagine how all kinds of voices from all kinds of people flood into his head every second without a break due to his losing control.He could imagine how everything lingered in his mind ,driving him mad like it did him.  
There’s his faith ,and there’s the one he loved so much crumbling under his very eyes because of him.  
Peace is never an option.  
And so was his own happiness.  
He blamed himself for that first night’s visit.He could have gotten through all this and left without hesitation.It was just one moment’s thought but now he was put into the toughest dilemma.  
“You killed the president.”Charles raised his head and stared at Eric,scowling.  
“No I didn’t.”  
“The bullet won’t bend themselves ,Eric.”  
“Someone wanted to kill him and I was trying to save him!”  
“Why would you do something like that?”Suspicion and disbelief were so obvious and cold and sharp like blaze.  
“Because he was one of us!”He shouted in wrath and every metal in the room began to falter violently.  
Charles appeared astonished but soon calmed down.He grubbed the wineglass and took a gulp of whiskey .  
Eric turned around and left without a word.  
A metallic garnish dropped down on the floor loudly and Charles’s hand holding the wineglass began to shiver.  
Chapter 4  
Eric started to visit every night around eleven and Charles grew to get used to that.He never asked questions.Sometimes Eric would demand a game of chess and they will play silently,having random casual conversations,avoiding sensitive topics.  
However reluctant he was to admit,this ritual kind of cheered the low-spirited professor up.Hank’s jaw dropped when he saw the old version of Charles Xavier sitting by the kitchen table buttering a piece of toast.His hair was clean and showed its original dark chestnut color and his face was clean-shaven.The ragged cheap night-robe was replaced by a familiar black sweater.  
“Morning Hank,how’s sleep?”Charles waved his fork at Hank greeting while enjoying his breakfast.  
“Good,I mean...You look..refreshing today,professor.”  
“yeah...about that..”The chewing slowed down and Charles frowned in thought,like he suddenly woke up from a curious dream and was trying to figure out what’s going on.

For a week Eric didn’t show up.Every night Charles sat in the chair,setting his gaze upon the fire.  
He has left. He told himself ,but didn’t stop sitting into the chair at the set time.  
Seven days later Eric appeared at his door step.  
He noticed the bruises on Erik’s forehead and cheek.And he wasn’t moving with ease,there’s something wrong with his left arm.What he assumed is bandages hump under Erik’s gray turtleneck. 

Charles stood up from the chair and moved a little forward and stopped,looking at him frowning.  
Erik closed the door behind him with one hand gently and walked close to Charles in silence.Pale,weary,exhausted.He doesn’t look so well.  
Charles frowned even more,opening his mouth ready to ask questions.But before he could say anything Erik pressed his lips on his,shutting the words down.  
The kiss was gentle but firm.It’s like he had been in a desert longing for water,but when he finally got it he took it with great patience.Erik slowly moves his tongue,licking Charles’s warm and soft lips with such tender that leaves Charles’s mind blank for some time,something exploded in his brain,leaving him at loss.  
Erik let him go after some time,his one hand still holding Charles’s face.They’re so close that they can feel each other’s hot breath.Little gasps slipping from Charles’s mouth.They looked into each other’s eyes in silence.  
Charles could see the depression and the buried-deep sorrow in the other’s gray-green eyes and somewhere in his heart aches at the sight.It’s like someone’s gripping the organ tight in hand.  
Erik’s eyelids half-dropped ,he wasn’t expecting anything kind or soothing from Charles,he didn’t deserve any.And he definitely shouldn’t have done what he did seconds ago.But once again he couldn’t compose himself,couldn’t hold back the desire .He had been so exhausted,used up,tormented everyday by the mixed emotions and wants.  
But soon he felt Charles’s lips on his again,and the other’s hands above his waist.Charles kissed him back,with such tenderness that he could drown.  
The kiss soon became hotter,and more fierce,in desperation of some kind,their hearts aching and twitching in love and desire.For so long they didn’t say a thing.For so long they suffered on their own,keeping all the agony to themselves and it had tired them out.  
For one time,they don’t want to be torturing themselves and each other.  
Charles felt Erik’s hand slipping under his sweater,from the tail tone all the way upright the spine,sending a strong fit of pleasure from heels to his brain,like a current of electricity.He moaned helplessly and arched to be closer to Erik,whose relatively cold hands on his warm body was making him trembling.  
Erik gasped roughly,turned their position then gently pushed Charles into the mattress behind,while his hands wandered to his lover’s chest,the soothing feeling made him groan in a muffled voice.Kisses spread on Charles’s pasty skin like fire.The shirts was removed hastily and they pressed close,feeling each other’s burning heat.Erik buried his face in Charles’s neck,biting and sucking just enough to leave hickeys on his milky body.  
“Erik..Erik...”Charles clutched hard ,nails scratching Erik’s back when Magneto unbuttoned and removed his trousers and led his left hand all the way down to his thighs,holding his hard length in his rough hand.Magneto gave him a eerie smile.Kisses landed on Charles’s neck,stomach,and finally Erik contained Charles’s erection in his warm mouth.  
“Oh God...”For a moment Charles could see nothing but a total blank.He didn’t know which excited himself more,the hot warm feeling around his cock or the realization that the great Magneto is giving him a head job.Soon his attention was dragged back when Erik started to draw circles on his cock using his rough tongue.Charles never knew that his good old friend was good at this just like he was with metals.The stimulation both mentally and physically made him come panting heavily.Erik swallowed and licked his lips on purpose.Charles could feel the blood rushing down to his penis again seeing all this.  
Erik got rid of his trousers,revealing his amazing blood-pumping waist line and impressive length.Charles flushed but couldn’t take his eyes off the long thick erection.  
Erik pressed close again and just their hard erections rubbing against each other nearly made Charles come again.He wanted to screaming out Erik’s name,only to realize that Hank was downstairs.The muffled voice sounded like a pleading mewling.  
Erik’s expression tensed at the sound.He quickened the rubbing and using the liquid remaining on Charles’s abdomen as lube he slipped one finger inside Charles.Charles arched a little at the strange feeling,but nodded gently at Eric.He continued adding fingers.When he thought Charles was ready,he slowly thrust himself inside his beautiful lover.  
Both panted and gasped heavily in the progress.Erik began to kiss Charles gently and consolingly while pushing deeper.  
When he started to thrust hard in and out,Charles cried out helplessly in sweet pain.  
Fuck dignity.He wouldn’t give a damn if the whole of London is downstairs listening to him.He just had to...  
“Erik...Erik..”He come again on Erik’s hand,the other’s cock still hard inside and outside of him. Minutes later he felt Eric releasing himself inside him,leaving hot come inside him.Erik almost lost himself in the sweetest pleasure,smiling he led his lips to Charles’s collarbone.  
“You abandoned me.”He raised his head and saw tears welling up in the pair of sapphire.Staring at the ceiling above Charles murmured in sadness and desperation,”You took her away and you abandoned me.”  
Erik felt his heart pierced by a needle.He kissed the tears on Charles’s face and said,  
“I’m sorry.” 

 

When Charles woke up the next morning Erik was already gone.He got up feeling sore all over.He came downstairs absent-minded and leaned himself against the parlour door,face buried in hands.  
“You must think me so foolish.”He said in a bitter voice when he heard footsteps coming near.  
“Yes,as you can guess.”To his surprise the voice wasn’t Hank’s,raising his face he was greeted by a pair of familiar smiling green-gray eyes and a gentle kiss on his lips.  
“Good morning ,my old friend.”


End file.
